@elenacresci: guy cheats on ex. Ex blocks on all platforms. Unblocks just to send GoT spoilers every week
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@fro_vo: RETIREMENT EXPERTS: by 35 you should have twice your salary saved 35 YEAR OLD: my salary is $13.00 an hour and i have $26.00 in my bank account so I’m good
@prattprattpratt: If not for the cowardly actions of John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln would have turned 207 today.
@donni: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Do you know why I stopped? *silence* *a saxophone wails in the distance*
@PinkCamoTO: Interviewer: So why did you leave your last job? Me: Someone found out my birthday and decorated my cubicle with balloons.