@elenacresci: guy cheats on ex. Ex blocks on all platforms. Unblocks just to send GoT spoilers every week
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@ibid78: Rookie cop: "But sir, why would man's laughter be a crime?" Chief: "ffs kid, it's one word. Manslaughter."
@smickable: My mom is having a hysterectomy. This is like the time I moved away to college and she tore down my childhood bedroom.
@SteveSuckington: Some people call me space cowboy. Some call me gangster of love. This one guy calls me Maurice. He sucks at giving nicknames.
@MomofTeen: Customer Service: How does the name appear on your credit card? Me: If i had to guess, I'd say it's 11 pt. Arial bold.