@bridger_w: Guy in the dressing room next to mine: "I don't want to get blood on these pants." I want to reply, "Then stay out of my way on the catwalk"
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@StinkyGr33n: My co-worker said he's bleeding out of his ear. "That time of the month?" I replied. He's not amused.
@hipchkk: A decepticon is a just a cheeky emoticon at the end of a message intended to excuse the sender and confuse the recipient. Ex: Please die ;)
@GrowlyGrego: [spelling bee] Your word is "spider" Can you use it in a sentence? "A spider has eight eyes." [kid smiles] Spider. S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R
@NurseMurderer: Objects in the mirror may appear like you've been depressed and have eaten a lot the last 3 years.