@bridger_w: Guy in the dressing room next to mine: "I don't want to get blood on these pants." I want to reply, "Then stay out of my way on the catwalk"
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@PsstCaptain: Teens today have it so easy. We didn't have self-checkout lanes when WE bought condoms.
@joejwest: "murder" she wrote "your password must contain at least one number and one upper case letter" the screen said "murd3R" she wrote, frowning
@SaraMansford: I wish scientists could make us as indestructible as cartoons. I've got a list of people I'd like to drop an anvil on.