@junejuly12: Guy jogging pushing stroller for two kids. But only one there. Don't think he knows he lost one.
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@imdaintyaf: I don't want anti-wrinkle cream, I want a serum that bestows wrinkles upon my enemies.
@noog: [aliens talking] "They call it a sel-fee" A photograph of oneself? "Sometimes several" But why? "We have one theory" Go on "They're idiots"
@Kimpulses: You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.