@donni: Guy on this bus just congratulated his friend for having a birthday. Indeed, congratulations are in order for this unique accomplishment
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@jwoodham: You give me butterflies. I give them back. Please stop handing me insects, it's really weird.
@JasonLastname: Farmers are always so proud of themselves until you ask if they can put the milk back in the cow
@omerwahaj: An eskimo sitting in a kayak was chilly. He lit a fire. Unsurprisingly the kayak sank. Moral: You can't have your kayak and heat it too.
@DaddyJew: Plumber: why are there nachos in your shower drain? Me: why wouldn't there be nachos in my shower drain?