@donni: Guy on this bus just congratulated his friend for having a birthday. Indeed, congratulations are in order for this unique accomplishment
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@SteveKoehler22: Women love to say "sexy AF" or "hot AF" on Twitter .... If I'd known being in the Air Force was that hot...I'd have stayed in !
@chadchaines: "I just can't wait to hear the audible gasps of amazement from everyone who enters my house." -Me after spending 6 minutes cleaning
@TheMichaelRock: The only way I want to see your ultrasound picture is if you're having a velociraptor.
@o__0Dev: My boss really hates that I shortened his name to Dick.... Especially since his name is Steve