@KentWGraham: Guy science: The proper amount of time for a pan to soak before cleaning it is until you need to use it again.
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@Brianhopecomedy: I'm circling the auto shop and hoping that my mechanic can hear me yelling, "BRAKES!".
@mynameisntdave: [sex] GF: u bring protection? ME: ya [i show a gun] GF: not what I meant ME: I kno, I have a fox guarding us. The gun is for if it wigs out
@undeadmolly: Not usually a big fan of God, but I have admit telling Cruz to run for president then making him lose to a reality TV clown was an A+ prank.