@FatherofTweet: Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Reverend_Scott: BOSS: I set up a Suggestion Box. Please don't hesitate to- ME: [staring directly at boss while slowly stuffing cream cheese bagel into box]
@nolifecoach: To the woman with the screaming kids in Walmart: If you're wondering how the condoms got in your cart....You're welcome
@DurtMcHurtt: All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don't even remember what he did anymore.