@FatherofTweet: Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike.
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@Coolisiana: *puts my hand in a popcorn bucket only to notice there's another hand in there already* *it's just my other hand*
@OtherDanOBrien: [Dog Restaurant] "Is the Book Report any good?" Yes, Sir. "How's it prepared?" A 9yo stayed up till 3am to finish it. "Ooh, I'll have that."