@AristotlesNZ: Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike
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@TheBoydP: [Jeopardy] Disease for $500 Alex "Dysentery, Typhoid, Bubonic Plague, Dengue Fever" What's better than catching a man cold? "Correct!"
@ojedge: [feeding baby Malaysian food] "Here comes the plane" *makes plane noises* *spoon just disappears*
@EndhooS: [See's a guy playing bagpipes] Son: Why's that man wearing a skirt? Me: I think the real question is why is he sucking that musical octopus?