@215potter: Guy threw a banana peel out the window into my lane 2day. Yrs of practice paid off and I arrived to work safely. Thank you Mario Kart.
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@MAB1013: I gave myself whiplash. It couldn't be helped. Bohemian Rhapsody came on, and my kids weren't gonna teach themselves how to head bang.
@2facedshepherd: The Notebook (2004) A stranger harasses a nursing home resident with stories about people she doesn't know (PG-13 2hr 3min)
@jake_likes_naps: Karen: Are we ok? Me: [removes earbud] Yes. Karen: It's just that you named a Spotify playlist "LET'S GET DIVORCED"
@Awk0Tacoo: Every chick magazine ever: You're beautiful and are perfect just the way you are! How to loose ten pounds in ten days you fat, ugly cow.