@215potter: Guy threw a banana peel out the window into my lane 2day. Yrs of practice paid off and I arrived to work safely. Thank you Mario Kart.
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@Sickayduh: "911 what's your emergency?" - I've been catfished by a dozen men "We're on our way" - Gonna arrest them? "Gonna shut off your internet"
@lawyerthoughts: If you see me in court you'd think I was furiously taking notes, but 9 times out of 10, I'm usually drawing a t-rex eating a witness.
@Mike_Wrong: Every time I wear a suit I hear the same five words. "Will the defendants please rise"
@mrkoodge: *lowers car suspension to look more gangster* *takes 12 minutes to ride over a speedbump*