@captainkalvis: me: i'd like to make a reservation for 2 at 6:00 pm
employee: sir, this is a McDonald's
me: oh my bad. i'd like a McReservation for 2 at 6:00 pm
employee: perfect, see you then
@kerouac741: Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder where you are
If you're not so very far
After work, let's hit the bar
@truegritrumble: (Halloween Costume Shop)
ME: *leaving after not finding anything*
CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy.
@gobmentcheese: The brownies I started making in my Easy Bake Oven in 1987 are ready if you guys want one.
@jokeymcjokeface: Crime would drop to 0% if police uniforms were scary clown costumes. "Put your hands up and state your favorite balloon animal!"
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