@LeviathanPride: Guys at work are always like "why are your shorts so short?" Then I spin kick an inch away from their face with such precision and they know
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@hippieswordfish: '911 HELP SOMEONE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE' uh ok, wow. not loving your tone. why don't you hang up, lose the 'tude and lets try that again, pal
@WilliamAder: While I fully intended to "sleep my way to the top," it appears I've napped my way to the middle.
@GavinProbably: Facebook- You: Going to a concert tonight! Friend: Sweet, what concert? Aunt: WHAT IS ITUNEZ?????? HOW IS YOUR DAD????? I LOVE YOU XOXOXO