@NoogsCorner: Guys, check out this cool trick I learned. Take your upper lip and make it touch your lower lip. Now keep them like that.
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@lionprincessval: I can't come into work today *cough* I'm really sick. "Do I hear Mario Kart in the background?" *hangs up*
@ericacanrant: Looking for rich sugardaddy to support me so I can support my boyfriend so he can tweet more. *thoughtful romantic tweet*
@KalvinMacleod: [adrift at sea] CLOWN: no worries, we can use this helium canister to propel us to shore ME: *really squeaky voice* we need a different plan