@NoogsCorner: Guys, check out this cool trick I learned. Take your upper lip and make it touch your lower lip. Now keep them like that.
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@adamhess1: The girl I just showed off my Fitbit to thought I was really cool until she saw my heart rate increasing with every second she spoke to me
@SamGrittner: I'm surprised carving faces into vegetables after pulling out their innards isn't incorporated into more American Holidays.
@TheToddWilliams: THEO VAN GOGH: I can’t believe you lost your other ear in a poker game VINCENT VAN GOGH: What?