@hyperseas: Guys, don't ever tell a girl that she's yummier than a gummy bear, she'll know it's not true because nothing is yummier than a gummy bear.
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@MattMcElaney: GF says my bike helmet looks ridiculous, but I'd rather be "uncool" than fall and crack my head open in the middle of having sex.
@UrFavAsianGuy: I ate my dog because it ate my homework. Just kidding, I ate it because I'm Asian.
@Bacon_Ball: You can tell a lot by the way a woman walks. Like if she walks away, she's probably not into you.