@TheBoydP: Guys, don’t panic if you find a sticky note from your wife in the morning with only the word “garbage” on it. It’s probably just trash day.
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@3sunzzz: I get into bed. Husband is already asleep. I must build a pillow fort between us to keep his hot breath off of my face. Marriage is fun.
@SirEviscerate: There are no atheists in parking lots where you've dropped your phone face down on the asphalt.
@ninjabaconpizza: My wife saw someone kill horses in Minecraft and she is making me build a Minecraft memorial for dead Minecraft animals.