@BrainSeducer: Guys, don't take the first step cause girls hate that easy guy. Also, you must take the first step cause they hate the shy one. Good luck!
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@Mr_Kapowski: My daughter is the perfect height for using an umbrella to simultaneously keep her dry and for me to lose an eye from one of its corners
@iGreenMonk: Every night I keep a pillow under my gun in case a murderer threatens me to a pillow fight.
@Parkerlawyer: It's 10:25pm and one of my kids just came downstairs and asked what's for dinner. I guess I need to start doing head counts from now on.
@LawbsterSaid: "Wow! Can you believe it's almost June already?!" YES DEB, I AM WHOLLY MYSTIFIED BY THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF TIME ON PLANET EARTH