@TaylorVirtue: GUYS GUYS GUYS, I just saw this dude wearing the stupidest . . . False alarm, just a mirror.
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@ThisLocalHater: The theme from Jaws plays eerily in the distance, only to reveal me approaching an open bar at a wedding.
@FullMetalMommy: My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight. Frankly, I'd rather cut the Obgyn.
@NJFreudian: Which doesnt belong? Camel Polar Bear Obama Buffalo Camel......It's the only one on the list that knows something about the Middle East
@eeethanford: Son have I told you about the birds & the bees? Dad you're an ornithologist & moms an entomologist it's literally all you guys talk about