@TaylorVirtue: GUYS GUYS GUYS, I just saw this dude wearing the stupidest . . . False alarm, just a mirror.
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@BaconHuffer: I cuss around my kids so they understand proper useage, timing and inflection. Vocabulary is power.
@dmc1138: This one time, I got kicked out of the audience of "Cats" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer.
@Xoolun: My girlfriend and I were having sex so loud we woke up the whole house. My wife was furious.
@SondraDeeMe: Perfect one night stand: Amish person. No internet access. No phones. In the heat of passion they'll whisper the secret to apple butter.