@KattsDogma: Guys! I finally dusted my bedroom! And guess what? I HAVE A NIGHTSTAND!!!
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@LLBadge: My GPS just did a shoulder shrug and said, "uhm, take a left here?" This can't be good.
@NotThatNixon: Praying that Donald Trump is really just Ashton Kutcher performing his most elaborate prank yet.
@VestaTot: Help 9-1-1! I just found my husband! He's been drugged in his coffee and then stabbed with a pen knife but that didn't work and then shot!