@TheRohiniReddy: Guys, I only wanna hear about your ex if she is dead.If you still talk about her, I'll murder her so we can have an interesting conversation
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@NickAmadeus: Every Ryan Gosling movie is about what would happen if a really weird guy was also incredibly attractive.
@xLiserx: *First Date* Me: *Flirting* You have to promise not to fall in love with me. Him: There's cheese in your hair. And we haven't eaten yet.
@edfoxcomedy: 1) Bake cake. 2) Don't cut it into pieces. 3) Eat the whole thing. 4) Claim I ate "only one piece of cake."
@notshivi: Everyone prepare yourself for National "How is it May already?" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.