@TheRohiniReddy: Guys, I only wanna hear about your ex if she is dead.If you still talk about her, I'll murder her so we can have an interesting conversation
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@ObscureGent: Nobody discretely coughs blood into a handkerchief while wearing a top hat anymore.
@HallpassCanada: The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn't seem to be having the desired affect.
@mynameisntdave: RACIST: im a racist! ME: uh oh RACIST: yea I race cars! ME: oh. I dont think u know what racist means RACIST: & I hate Jews! ME: there it is
@SondraDeeMe: By the nervous look on his face I thought my boyfriend had an engagement ring hidden in his hand but it was just a stranger's bra. Whew.