@Jake_Vig: Guys, if a girl invites you upstairs for "coffee," first make sure she has coffee, you don't want to get up there and there's no coffee.
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@Sickayduh: Nurse: Taking you back into surgery. Something was sewn inside you. Me: What? Can I talk to the surgeon? [from my stomach] I'm right here
@shutupmikeginn: Ghost of Caesar: and what of my legacy? what now bares my name? Buildings? Mountains? Me:uhh remember how you used to love romaine lettuce?