@Scdavis24: Guys, if you have to point your toes to put your pants on, those aren't your pants. Give them back to your sister.
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@bornmiserable: [me, taking a drug test at work] the company didn't specify which drugs we had to take to prepare for this, so I took them all
@MuttCutts: "Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?" Oh. Yea. Good thinkin'. Can't be too careful. A lot of bad drivers out there.
@dazedandsincere: My mom just told me she's been watching that "Game of Thongs" show. Gawd I hope she's just saying it wrong.