@Paxochka: Guys, if you want to make a girl moan, tremble, and scream: be a spider.
@rob5373: [Bags packed, leaving the ex]
Ex:"I hope you have a slow and painful death!"
Me:"So now you want me to stay?"
@NoogsCorner: I finally opened the condom in my wallet and it had a beard.
@nickthune: The struggle is real in NY #Snowmageddon2015 #snowpocalypse
@shadygeekdad: Living well isn't the best revenge. A crowbar to the head is the best revenge.
@weinerdog4life: If everyone would stop screaming, I'm sure we'd all agree I'm not supposed to be in this women's restroom.