@BruceForce: Guys, I'm officially having sex tonight so please don't disturb me between 9.30 and 9.31
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ilovepie84: Your Ex is like spilt milk. If you put newspaper over them its like the mistake never happened.
@SteveSuckington: [Taken 26] Abductor: I have your great granddaughter LIAM NEESON: I literally died 12 years ago
@NotThatKristi: If I was a funeral director, I'd tell everyone "I'll see you later" & then wink, because it's fun to freak people out.
@vladchoc: Dance like no one's a werewolf. Eat like you found it in the couch. Shout like your cat's sleeping. Feel good like a bossy poem told you to.