@OhNoSheTwitnt: Guys, stop comparing Trump to Hitler. He thinks it's a compliment. Call him a middle-aged woman or a peaceful Muslim.
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@kimt205: Eaten so many blue cheese stuffed olives today that it feels like France and Greece are waging a war for land in my intestines.
@AmishPornStar1: Interviewer: Tell me about your future plans. Me: You mean, like, just tomorrow, or for, like, the whole weekend?
@Reverend_Scott: HULK WANT LOAN Bank: We can't loan to people like you. GREEN PEOPLE?? *flips table into moon* Bank: People owing 2.6B in property damage.