@OhNoSheTwitnt: Guys, stop comparing Trump to Hitler. He thinks it's a compliment. Call him a middle-aged woman or a peaceful Muslim.
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@Donnie_Fairburn: Just installed the iOS 9 update and I've already noticed a significant increase in my phone's battery life! This is aweso
@BasicLyes: Remote start, keyless entry, feature allows me the privilege of losing my keys- while I'm driving.
@sarapascoe: When people write to tell me I'm not good at comedy, I reply "Well you're not good at fan mail" then we all laugh &they are proved wrong.
@EyeSeeYou619: I want to be rich enough that when complimented on my Star Wars t-shirt I can give it to them revealing the exact same t-shirt underneath.