@TalibJim: Guys WhatsApp status be like "at the gym" since 2014.... Brother are you going to fight Brock Lesnar or just trying to get 12 pack??!!!
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@DillDoes: *Burglar breaks into my room* *he looks around* *he softly wakes me up* Dude do you need some money or something? I'd be happy to help
@juliussharpe: I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they're going to be talking.
@sucittaM: My wife thinks I'm stupid for using Twitter so much. But I think she's stupid for marrying me, so I think we all know who won this argument.
@NYC_Blonde: Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one of your friends your ex is going to sleep with next