@shadygeekdad: Guys, when a woman is mad just tell her she's overreacting. She'll realize you're right and calm right down.
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@swiftenhaal: I'm only watching the royal wedding for the bishop. I've always wanted to see a person who only moves diagonally.
@trevso_electric: The worst feeling is when you miss someone but you can't even tell them you miss them because they are a pizza.
@meganamram: Don't have money for a cab so I keep calling ambulances and telling them I feel better when I'm close to my destination