@kumailn: Guys who are enemies of Putin seem to have the worst luck.
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@rickolantern: My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I'd have to stay away from carbs So I've been using this insanely long straw to drink beer
@SequelsWeWant: The Hobbit 4: Bilbo's relatives auction off his stuff Bilbo puts on his ring One by one, his relatives die under mysterious circumstances
@PetrickSara: Welcome back to school kids. Please form an orderly line. If you don't already have a highly contagious virus, one will be assigned to you.