@joeldanger: Guys with ponytails are clearly vampires because there's no way you can actually see yourself in a mirror & still think that looks good.
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@RocketRankoon: A little bit of rain and everyone forgets how to drive. Saw one guy try to start his car with a pancake.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I used to give my co-workers nicknames based on their most dominant features, like 'Loves Abortions Brenda' or 'Eats Her Feelings Julie'.
@AristotlesNZ: Him: "What kinda chameleon do you have?" Me: Karma "Karma?" Karma "Karma.." Karma chameleon "How long you had him?" He comes & goes..
@melibuff: I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.