@jjmick45: GUYS: you need to be nicer to women,if you dont believe me just google "woman stabs" and see how many stories come up.
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@TheTimmyToes: (car dealer) is the passenger seat also heated? "Aww for ur wife?" *imagines putting a fast food bag on warm seat after the drive-thru* yes
@DevilryFun: I do my best speed walking when I'm trying to beat another customer to the checkout at the liquor store.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: We didn't even have cell phones or the internet when I was your age. 6yo: Did you have bikes? Me....nope, we rode horses. 6yo: WOOOOW
@InternetHippo: [meeting her parents] GF (whispering): Please don't make a scene ME (angry-whispering): You told me there'd be cheese