@hogrider05: H: Do you like carpet or prefer it bare?
M: I'm OK with a little carpet of she shaves the rest
H: We're talking about floors
M: HR again?
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@djdarrellripley: Me: (Sigh) There she is. Him: Sounds like you're still carrying a torch for her. Me: Yea, like the villagers carried one for Frankenstein!
@usermcuserface: I'm not a violent person, but I'd happily throat punch the person that decided baby clothes needed a minimum of 20 buttons.
@IamEnidColeslaw: watch only the first and last episodes of How I Met Your Mother. you're welcome
@punmagnate: Worm CEO cuts workforce in half, doubles productivity
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