@ewfeez: Hacked again! Sometimes I wish I never grew up on 12,345,678th Street with a dog named Password.
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@kelkulus: The Garden of Eden must have been one exciting place if the most tempting things were apples.
@fro_vo: Interviewer: congrats you got the security guard job Me: *already asleep on a folding chair* Interviewer: hang on u don’t start til monday
@21stcenturysahm: I want to go back in time and find pre-kid me who thinks she is "so busy" and "so tired." And I want to smack her.
@AntF3ltz: When I go to Starbucks, I tell them my name is Marco. When my drink is ready and they call my name, I just keep saying Polo.