@NATxHAN: Had a 6" sammich from subway today, and it totally didn't fill me up. I get it now ladies, and I'm so, so sorry.
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@lilgapeach30: Siri just said I'm looking for love in all the wrong places so I'm tryin to figure out what happened to Siri and how my mom got in my phone.
@BuckyIsotope: I will be celebrating Columbus Day by setting sail for India, landing in Spain, and telling everyone who lives there to move out.
@MomOfTeen: Walking by the lingerie section Youngest: Why do they make the underwear so fancy? No one is ever going to see it anyway. Me: Uh huh.
@crunchenhancer: My wife asked me: "What's the most risky, dangerous food you've ever eaten." Me: "wedding cake".