@jaxxygrant: Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
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@tacsanitchiban: My daughter ruined her Halloween costume. Gonna wrap her in aluminum foil and send her out as a leftover.
@NicestHippo: Emperor Sleepoleon, we urge you to change your name to appear less lazy to your people. Oui, I shall dial it back, BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY
@TheAlexNevil: I don't trust a restaurant that advertises "Now with more bacon!" because it means they were holding out on me to begin with.