@jaxxygrant: Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
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@WGladstone: My 6 yr old asked me if "satire" is like a "flat tire." I told him no. People know how to handle a flat tire.
@IbecameMyDad: If someone brought me coffee right now I would follow them around like an imprinted baby bird forever.
@FunnyTunes: If a girl has magnetic personality and still She can't attract the desired boy. Then that means the boy has iron deficiency.
@michaelianblack: Every picture I've seen of Neil Patrick Harris the last ten years has been of him adjusting his shirt cuffs. He needs better shirts.