@TylerFoFyler: Had a big mix up at the store today, apparently when the clerk said "strip down facing me," she meant my credit card.
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@TravLeBlanc: I'm a failure as a sociopath. I'm just not very good at manipulating and taking advantage of people. I'm more of a so-sopath.
@TheTweetOfGod: Ancient cryptic thrice-translated self-contradictory texts are the best way to convey moral precepts.
@girlontapas: I want to believe in hope as much as someone who thinks that somebody might buy their old used shoes on Craigslist for $20.
@DanMentos: I bet the first person to keep track of his age was a gigantic tool "This is my 24th winter" Shut up and help us kill this boar, Stuart