@TylerFoFyler: Had a big mix up at the store today, apparently when the clerk said "strip down facing me," she meant my credit card.
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@Rollmaninoz: [date] Date: I thought your Tinder profile said you were a gym owner Me *eating a hotdog and scanning for Pokemon*: yes that's correct
@lovemydogduck: Last year my ex and I dressed as opposing political parties for Halloween... best hate sex we ever had.
@Brianhopecomedy: My 3 year old is singing the rare 19 hour version of "Let It Go", using only 3 words.