@SpokeAna: Had a breakthrough with my therapist yesterday.
Never seen a man cry like that before.
@silent_musings: I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case.
@mstern68: "At your cervix, m'lady"
- me as an OBGYN and also just me
@HammerFist3: Cat owner : wow my pet cat really likes you
Me: yeah well that's just because I have at least 2 sardines in my left pocket at any given time
@amhw: Coffee: Because when you're groggy and barely coherent, the first thing you should do is handle a scalding hot cup of liquid.
@fro_vo: Date: so what do you do
Me: i build dog houses
Date: oh you're an "arf"itect lol
Me: haha good one
Me: (under breath) it's "bark"itect