@SpokeAna: Had a breakthrough with my therapist yesterday.
Never seen a man cry like that before.
@JennUflect: Teens are like the Magic 8ball of humans, they think they have all the answers & you want to shake them because what they said was stupid.
@AtticusFinch79: [McDonald's drive thru]
ME: i'd like a happy meal with a coke
HIM: will that be a regular coke or an eight ball?
@gerryhallcomedy: I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those 'eat right and exercise' fads.
@shutupmikeginn: I'm a club photographer, I take pictures at the club and people pay me to delete them
@AntozWolf: They say being a hostage is difficult - but I could do that with my hands tied behind my back.