@TylerLinkin: Had a date with a lady I met on Christian Mingle. It was going fine until I told her I was Jewish & her half of the bill was $40 dollars.
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@Sarcasticsapien: I like how when you pull down on a paper towel dispenser you either get half a paper towel or half the roll.
@qwertying: Wife: What would you do if I died? Husband: I would go crazy Wife: Would you re-marry? Husband: Ah, not that crazy..
@Vodkantots: As a Jew, I refuse to enter any steam room or sauna until I've seen other people come out.