@DurtMcHurtt: Had a dream some of my friends were mooning me, woke up at the crack of Don.
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@SatansTongue: (bed bath and beyond) *walks to beds* Wow nice beds *walks to baths* Wow nice baths *walks through intergalactic wormhole* Wow nice beyond
@weismanjake: If you run into someone you know and they say "we should hang out sometime" just say "I'm ready to hang out right now" and watch them panic
@__candypants: Thank God the conventions are over because now we can get back to the real issues: FOOTBALL.