@PinkLipschitz: Had a dream that someone was gently rubbing my forehead with sandpaper. Woke up to find my cat gently rubbing my forehead with sandpaper.
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@ramblinma: No, officer, I haven't been drinking; my toddler just needed to hand me everything from the back seat.
@GoodnightSanity: My toddler begged to go swimming and then threw a tantrum because she didn't want to get wet in case you were on the fence about having kids