@Carmel_Coleman: Had a girl say "I want you to treat me like a virgin" So I sacrificed her to a tiki god and threw her in a volcano.
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@Black__Elvis: I used to struggle to keep food on the table until I Googled "how to get your pet turtle Charles to hold still because he's a table now."
@girlontapas: I started to go to yoga today and then I remembered that I could lie on the floor in my own house without driving anywhere.
@IamEnidColeslaw: shoutout to Disney for giving me unrealistic expectations about love, talking animals and my singing voice
@ktmcburr: I wonder if giraffes can eat so much their stomach explodes bc they just don't know it right away cuz it's in their neck for so long. What.