@Carmel_Coleman: Had a girl say "I want you to treat me like a virgin" So I sacrificed her to a tiki god and threw her in a volcano.
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@FloodyHippie: You don't need to put "narcissist" in your bio. This is twitter, that shit goes without saying.
@AndyAsAdjective: How was your day? -You know in Die Hard when he runs barefoot over broken glass? That bad? -Oh no. It's just a cool scene. My day was decent
@fart: i made the mistake of watching a single zit popping video on youtube and now my recommendations screen is trying to make me barf