@scorpiusryan21: Had a skype interview yesterday and I completely avoided the fact that I am actually a centaur
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@Playing_Dad: Daughter: Daddy, why do I have to go to bed so early? Me: Because we have had enough of you for today
@thejoelstein: 4-yr-old son gave smartest answer ever to "How do you know if something is art?" "People tell you."
@MrEd_EVH: I'm gonna make a alternate account so I can catfish myself. I know what I like so I may fall for it
@sad_tree: When people say "You can fit a million earths in the sun!!!" I'm like: Hey. Maybe we shouldnt put any earths in the sun. The sun is hot.