@scorpiusryan21: Had a skype interview yesterday and I completely avoided the fact that I am actually a centaur
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@13spencer: Toys 'R Us pulled Breaking Bad figures because the characters sold drugs, but continue to sell Darth Vader ones, and he blew up a planet.
@ashmensch: *guy getting eaten by a shark* Guy: I just wanted to say I'm Vegan. Shark, spitting him out: Wtf man. I had you in my mouth & everything.
@zgbetty: The 2nd grade teacher asked parents to donate supplies for tie dye tshirt day but I'm not sure I can come up with that much weed by Friday.
@BatBatshitcrazy: Shout out to my neighbors for the 2:00 am fireworks; I hope you enjoyed my 7:00 am weed whacking.