@LousyBastard: Had sex with my nephew's English teacher. Texted her the next day "Last nite was grate. Your so awsome!" so I don't have to see her again.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NeinQuarterly: A friend's father had been using LOL to mean lots of love. This explained such messages as "Your grandmother's in the hospital. LOL."
@themiltron: we call em houseplants like thats where they belong but its just where we put em thats like if u threw me in the sewer & called me sewer boy
@GreenishDuck: When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.