@_Shizzle: Had to have "the talk" with my 5yr old. He asked me where sandwiches come from.
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@waydybee: Met this chinese guy with the surname Shen. His name's Eric. As in Eric Shen. Have him for more than 4hours, call a doctor!
@_NTFG_: COP: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" ME: "So it wouldn't be windy when we talked."
@primawesome: Dating is just deciding if you like a person more than being lonely, then choosing wrong.
@Parentpains: Name your child autocorrect, because eventually they'll just finish your sentences and correct you every chance they get too.