@BootsORiley: Had to pause Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory to go buy a king sized Snickers. This is why i can not watch Breaking Bad.
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@KeetPotato: unstable person: "jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams, 9/11 was an inside job" stable person: "i look after horses"
@LoveNLunchmeat: My wedding vows were until death do us part. Yet nowhere did they specify cause of death...
@djdarrellripley: Me: Don't tell me you've never thought about having sex with me. Her: No, I never have.... Me: I asked you not to tell me that.
@Aerostars4Sale: SPECIAL COLUMBUS DAY SALE: For $300 you can drive one of our vans into Canada and claim you discovered it.