@junkfoodjourney: Haha! ????
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@FredPollack: Found a bag of weed in my son's bedroom, absolutely horrified! The thing was practically all stems and seeds.
@kate_smithxx: I have a dream that one day I’ll be able to toss banana peels out of my car and not be judged as a litterer, but as a Mario Kart strategist.
@FuckabillyRex: Someone just knocked on the door of my apartment and I yelled, "There's no one here," so I think I handled that very well.
@aka_fatman: Let's play the Rihanna drinking game! We'll drink a shot of vodka every time she says 'work'. [2 minutes later] *house is on fire*