@junkfoodjourney: Haha! ????
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@HuffPostComedy: Louis C.K. perfectly sums up Boston accents in his new special 'Live At The Comedy Store'
@isabelzawtun: Pigeons are the dandelions of the animal kingdom: unappreciated, plentiful, and when you give a bouquet of them to ur mom she won't like it
@Tommytoughstuff: ME: I heard glasses make you look smart. FRIEND: That's true. [LATER ON A DATE] DATE: Hi. ME: (wearing 20 pairs of glasses) Who said that?
@NoogsCorner: Witch Logic: I have the magical ability to turn any item into a flying vehicle. I guess I'll use that broom.