@BruceForce: Haha, murder? No officer, I just wanted to see what would happen if I planted a human
@BDGarp: I’m sitting next to a beautiful woman at a bar so now it’s only a matter of time before nothing happens.
@AmandaDuberman: Any woman with three or more exes in her city could have told Obama how to avoid Putin in Normandy.
@huntigula: *suddenly pulls away from kissing* BUT WHERE DOES THE STORK GET THE BABY FROM?!?
@KKAlThani: Probably the worst time to ask "shouldn't we go on a date first?" is after getting handcuffed by a police officer.