@johnfreiler: haha sucks for women that they have to sit down to poop
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@neiltyson: #WhenIWasYourAge: We had to open all doors by ourselves. None of them knew we were coming.
@Ms_Shazam: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." - Me to my children.
@junejuly12: People who say 45 minutes past the hour are the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 months old