@johnfreiler: haha sucks for women that they have to sit down to poop
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@fro_vo: Date: any pets? Me: a pet rock D: lol at least u don’t have to housetrain it Me: *flashback to piles of pebbles all over my house* haha yeah
@KeetPotato: [inventing humans] god: "they should have complete control of their tongue" angel: "um ok" god: "let me finish.. except when using scissors"
@GrillinChillin9: Eve: Wrong hole! Adam: Sorry, it's my first time. How do U know it's the wrong hole? No one has done this before, it's just us two you know
@TheBoydP: My walk of shame is leaving a handicapped restroom stall while trying not to make eye contact with the wheelchair guy who was waiting on me.