@OVO_Ty15: "Haha those 'said no one ever' jokes are pretty funny" -said no one ever
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@junejuly12: *rushes in* "Sorry I didn't see the email" *slow smile* *twirls hair* [Teaching office new girl how to be late for meetings]
@SteveSuckington: The average person eats 8 spiders a year *eating 2nd bowl of spiders* "WHO'S AVERAGE NOW DAD?"
@LeBearGirdle: [invents time machine and goes back to the dinosaurs] "in a few years its gonna be really cold" *hands them mixtape* "you're gone need this"