@GirlRestrained: Hahaha stupid person... When it says 55mph it really means 64mph.........Idiot turtle person
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@amphy1981: Life goals: Age 6: Be a pirate 10: Kiss more girls 16: Be 18 21: Be rich by 30 22 - 32: *File corrupted* 33: Improve on napping
@joeljeffrey: I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonalds after he threw his fries on the ground, so I also threw mine on the ground.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: That does it! [bangs on upstairs neighbor's door] [Elephant on a pogo stick answers] Sup? Am I being too loud?
@Try2StopME: I had a pretty confused childhood because I thought obituaries are actually advertisements selling dead people.