@GirlRestrained: Hahaha stupid person... When it says 55mph it really means 64mph.........Idiot turtle person
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@Breadery: My ex got engaged at Christmas but apparently responding to the news with "LOL" is "a representation of everything that is wrong with me."
@daemonic3: Is this your resume? "Yep" It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away "Oh yes" Welcome to UPS!
@HeyoShellz: Dude tried to pick me up at the gym but I was like bro I'm dying just let me lay here
@TheBoydP: I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it's for her is to eat it. Apparently