@AGreaterMonster: Hair growing from my ears and nostrils doesn't mean I'm getting old, right? Means I'm turning into a werewolf! Right?
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@Soberphobiccc: Religious places never have free WiFi because no religion wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
@blaha_Who: I had sex with a girl who had the big holes in her ear lobes once It was just once, because using them as reins isn't cool, apparently
@J_Recommends: My sister read '50 Shades of Grey' and relayed some of its explicit content. I pretended to think those things are shocking, too.
@Yankeegiant72: I like listening to Phil Collins in the shower. He gets creeped out when he sees me, though.