@OnlyFastEddie: Hair pulling during sex is hot unless the whole wig comes off.
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@vladchoc: Having sex is like riding a bike. Specifically, like that scene in Pee-wee's Big Adventure where everyone in the world has a bike except you
@sofarrsogud: ME: This is false advertising. I've been here an hour and nobody has even touched me. So lonely. COP: Again, not what a holding cell is for
@david8hughes: [puts dog in car] Me to wife: just gonna take her to the vet Wife: why u whispering [car screeches away] Me with wife in headlock: thats why