@OnlyFastEddie: Hair pulling during sex is hot unless the whole wig comes off.
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@TheHyyyype: [about to go in for emergency surgery] ME: *slips surgeon a $20* what if you were to give me wings like a giant bird?
@briancthayer: Dear microwave companies, Why make us select "cook" at all? Does my appliance have a calculator function or something? Sincerely, Everyone
@JesKeepSwimming: I'm sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.