@offbeatoliv: Half my family is Catholic, the other half Jewish, so when the tweet contest theme is "guilt" I pretty much have it in the bag.
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@Vodkantots: If a guy doesn't return your texts for 4 months, it might be over. It probably isn't, but it might be.
@skele_tim: CAT VAMPIRE: let me in! ME: ok CAT VAMPIRE: you fool! now I will suck your bl- ME: *closes door* CAT VAMPIRE: ... CAT VAMPIRE: let me out
@Underchilde: Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.