@offbeatoliv: Half my family is Catholic, the other half Jewish, so when the tweet contest theme is "guilt" I pretty much have it in the bag.
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@Jtweeters: If you love someone, set them free. If they return... something, something, Justin Bieber's a lesbian.
@dubiousrhetoric: VERY difficult to convince the apple store people that you've only ever dropped your phone 3 times if you dropped it twice in the store.
@Andrea__B__: Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?