@Hadzilla: Halloween '94: Mom says store sold out of Batman costumes and buys me a Catwoman one. Called me Catman. The worst part: she went as Batman?
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@Deirdreocx: [First date] "So, do you have any pets?" Yeah, I have a pet crow. He's white. "You have an albino crow?" He prefers the term cawcasian.
@samalmightysam: My girlfriend told me she loved me and wanted to marry me so I shot her in self defense.
@Midgetspar: If you try to rip somebody's head off, I suggest you train for it first. If you don't succeed it makes the following few minutes awkward.